Posted by Nicole

I fear we may have found the worst sweater ever.

It’s horrible in a subtle way, a way that makes you grab it in the Goodwill, hold it up to your blog wife, and laugh. It’s so bad it makes Bill Cosby’s sweaters vomit.

It’s terrible in a way that, ten minutes later, you find yourself still holding it while you walk through the checkout line.

Look at that thing. It’s so bad, you can’t even wear it ironically, even in the Hipster Capitol of You’ve Probably Never Heard of It, Oregon.

Do not get your picture taken with it. Even after five liters of Franzia, you will still be the fashion equivalent of puppy murder.

A sweater so bad, it gives third world babies cleft palates. It sucks the beauty and life out of everything within a six foot radius. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m barren now.

A sweater so bad, it’s a turtleneck.

A sweater so evil, it forced Laura to take this picture of me, and forced me to put it on the internet.

A sweater so bad, my cat is now plotting my murder.

So please, world. If you come across this sweater, don’t fool yourself into thinking it can toe that line between horrible and humorous. You cannot handle its loathing hate of all that is decent and after-some-Photoshop-kinda-beautiful.